SISTER'S KEEPER

In reality, the belief that women secretly hate one another has a long history. For centuries, women were pronounced incapable of “true friendship”. Rather than enjoying the long-lasting friendships found among men, bonds between women were depicted as short-lived, unable to withstand women’s quarrelsome natures. Many believe female who occupy influential positions are tougher on women employees, reluctant to help others shatter the glass ceiling for fear of losing their own privileged position. This is not supposed to be. Sometimes, we forget how easy it is to be our sister’s keeper.

On one of my short visits to Lagos, I decided to visit a friend of mine who stays around Iyana-Ipaja axis. I got to the bus station where I was to board a bus going to my destination and realized a bus was loading already. I didn’t feel like entering the bus because it was big so I decided to go for a smaller bus. As I was about entering the bus, I noticed there was a strong argument going on among a police officer (woman), the bus conductor and a tout ‘agbero’. I didn’t know what they were arguing about so I stood close to the bus. After the argument had subsided I entered the bus. I sat on the 3^rd row close to the window. A woman was sitting directly opposite to me. As the bus was loading, I noticed the police officer came close to the window, tapped the woman and handed her some naira notes about Two hundred naira (N200) in different denomination. The woman thanked the police officer and said some prayers in appreciation. Immediately the officer left, the woman started crying, I didn’t understand why she was crying so I tapped her and asked her why she was in tears.

She told me she was at the market earlier to get some petty items that she sells. After buying all the items, she kept her bag where she was and before she could say ‘jack’, she couldn’t find the bag again. She cried out and called on people around to help her but they didn’t know who took the bag. I felt pity for her. She said she had her purse which contained her phone and some money in the bag. She explained that she couldn’t convince anyone to help her so she approached the police officer who tried to convince the driver and conductor on her behalf.

I decided to pay her transport. I told her to stop crying that the Lord will compensate her. She told me that she has been asked not to pay the fare. I checked my purse. I realized I didn’t have much so I handed her a Five hundred naira note and asked her to make do with it. Although I wish I could do more but all the same, I was glad I could help a sister.

Bisi Fayemi wrote in one of her books (loud whispers) – “One of our major purpose in life is to be there for others regardless of our own circumstances. Sometimes people might not be there for us in our own time of need. We have no control over that. What we do have control over is to be our Sister’s keeper whenever and wherever we can. Let’s make that a daily habit”.

This post came as a result of personal reflections and many observations of how some of the female gender treat one another. We should be ready to rend helping hands to our sisters anytime they come to us for help. No matter how little. Let’s put an end to the habit of always condemning one another. Let’s show ourselves more love and support.

As for me, there is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. So let’s abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses – pretty but designed to SLOW women down (Roxane Gay). In all, let’s always be our sister’s keeper. I care